minutia press.
Royalty and revolving doors

David posts about preparations for certain royalty who are (royal plural) about to visit his place of employment. To avoid the papparazzi, I won't mention names or places here, but you can look at David's post and see whom I mean.

His comments got me to thinking about why this certain member of the royal family would avoid revolving doors and stairs. So I offer some theories below, and I will continue to use the royal plural, primarily because it is so much fun to do so.

  • Revolving doors do not amuse them. Well, then they have not tried to pry their children (Princess Beatrice Elizabeth Mary of York and Princess Eugenie Victoria Helena of York) from the continuous, uniform, circular motion that my children enjoy every time they confront a revolving door. Some say revolving doors were developed for energy efficiency; I say they were developed to delay parents from leaving a store.
  • Continuing with the above theory, even if they were willing to indulge their children Princess Beatrice Elizabeth Mary of York and Princess Eugenie Victoria Helena of York by allowing them to dwell in the revolving door, when it came time to leave, it would be difficult to get the kids' attention:

    Hey, Princess Beatrice Elizabeth Mary of York and Princess Eugenie Victoria Helena of York, we need to go!

    By the time they (he) got to the middle of the first kid's name, the kid would be well into another revolution of the door.
  • After years of painstakingly careful, methodical, and diligent research (I felt lucky with Google), I discovered this site, which describes significant events in their life. They flew helicoptors, and it could be that the revolving door remind them of helicoptor roters, bringing back painful memories of military duty.
  • Perhaps they are disabled and they might require apparati that cannot negotiate a revolving door or stairs. Or lacking the apparati, perhaps they have physical impairments that prevent them from using revolving doors or stairs. This seems like the most logical explanation, except that they won't enter the side doors adjacent to the revolving door. But I remember from my visit to Westminster Abbey that a priest there told me the large center door was reserved for royalty to enter, as required by some rule of nobility.

David has our (did we say "our"?) interest piqued and so we hope he will get to the bottom of this and let his readers know the truth beind the royal aversion to revolviong doors and stairs. Why are these such a royal pain?