The staff of minutia press are taking a well deserved vacation from posting. So don't expect posts for a while, though you might expect this one.

Happy holidays.

I just received my desk review copy of Java How to Program , now in its fifth edition. The book is 1500 pages long. To put that in perspective, the primer on C that most people used (K and R) was 280 pages, and that included a lot of standard-library documentation.

Why is this book so long?

Well, it includes OOD with the UML and Design Patterns, JDBC, Servlets, and JSP. The book includes a CD-ROM, multicolor pages, OOD/UML case studies, Swing, Java New IO, Regular Expressions, and a secret decoder ring.

I think I'll wait for the Cliff Notes or the movie, whichever surfaces first.

My hits went up dramatically following my post of the first CS party, so I thought I should follow up with someting about the second party.

We've had a tradition of a CS department party on campus, and for the past few years it's been held in the Women's Studies building. There was a time when we brought food, pot-luck style, and the department provided beverages. But in the past 4 years or so, we've switched to a catered party.

The party this year was held in Holmes Lounge, a great space that was formerly a reading room for the old library, from what I have heard.

Something of the library atmosphere remains, as conversations were relatively subdued, as if a librarian would come by at any moment and ask us to keep it down please, people are studying.

Also in keeping with library polciy, food is not allowed. OK, I admit I ate my fill (and perhaps the fill of a few others -- I had no other dinner awaiting me), but I miss the days when the party had food that could fill the most starving of our grad students.

I hear the new library will actually serve food inside....there is hope.

I'm not sure why, but I've become very interested in the min cooper cars built by BMW and sold over on Maryland Road. The thing is, they are impractical for me because there are 5 people in my family but the car only seats 4, and 2 of the 4 should be on very good terms.

A friend of mine drives one and when I first saw it, I couldn't believe how differnt it was, inside and out, from the cars turned out by most manufacturers.

Since I probably won't buy one, I am currently content with building one electronically at their web site .

Clarice, that noble robot, aspiring nocturnal golf-ball caddy, and brian child of the evil twin scientists separated at birth ( Lucas and Ben ), suffered a fatal dismemberment today.

"She was good to the last," lamented Ben, "as she offered herself for a brain transplant so that other students might live up to their academic potential." It seems that admiration of Clarice was universal. "She was a chip off the old [lego] block," said Lucas, "and a light to us all."

A natural leader, Clarice set an example for lego robots everywhere. "She felt drained when she wasn't in charge," sobbed Lucas and Ben. "Although solid and wiry, she would sometimes fly apart under pressure."

Clarice was widely known for her fear of golf balls and her insatiable appetite for 9-volt batteries. Near the end of her short life, however, she overcame her fears so that Ben and Lucas could pass their robotics course. "Instead of running from the golf balls, she actually batted them back and forth before eating them," said Clarice's inventors. She will be remembered for her bravery.

In lieu of flowers, Ben and Lucas welcome donations to the Clarice Block Party fund.

My mother-in-law took a picture of my kids with Fred Bird when we were at the baseball game in the Fall. I'm not in many of the pictures she takes so at the last minute, I popped my head up and got into the picture. Months later, she shows up at our house with the yearly "kids' picture calendar" which was made from the Fred Bird picture. The picture clearly shows my three kids, and I am not the red bird in the middle. But I am in the picture somewhere. Can you find me?

We had about 60 people in our house last night for the CS department faculty / staff party. The party was to start at 6 and the last people left around 10:30 or so. Because everybody brought food, we didn't have to cook that much, but we cleaned up the house and provided drinks. I had hoped our wild CS department would, well, go wild, making Ben's crew party look like a girl scout meeting. Actually, from what I heard, that party was a lot like a girl scout meeting because the crew team went in drag. I'll have to suggest that idea for next year's CS party.

Because I assume most people in this town get their fill of Budweiser, I bought a lot of esoteric beer: XX, Moosehead, Becks, Hefe Weiss, St Pauli Girl, etc. There is a surprising amount of beer left; wine was by far the more popular beverage: Merlot, Pinot Grigio, Red Zin were most preferred, judging by the number of empty bottles. Suggestions about hwo to dispose of the beer are most welcome.

Betsy and I made baked salami, cold-cut sandwiches, and a brie/cranberry puff pastry thing. All manner of appetizers and desserts were brought, and there was an abundance of food.

One of the evening's more exciting moments was putting out the fire in our study. Our house has two fireplaces: a big one in the den and a small one in the study. To me, a fireplace should be just that: a place for fires, so I dutifully armed both fireplaces with a 4-hour duraflame log, and then counted down the minutes to ignition.

While in prinicple, both fireplaces should work fine, we haven't used the one in the study for some time. I opened the flue, felt an adequate updraft, and so I lit the duraflame log. At first, things seemed just fine, but in about 15 minutes, the study was a little smokier than it should have been. Apparently, a nest or something was clogging the chimney at the top, and we all know the fun a flaming bird's nest propelled from a chimney can be at a party.

I went to the kitchen for the fire extinguisher, but, luckily, Berkley Shands attended our party, and he suggested the wet towel approach. I brought him a wet towel and he basically put the fire out with his bare hands and then carried the smouldering log outside.

All of this was happening while guests were arriving. The smoke gave our house a kind of rustic, al carbon atmosphere. Those without respiratory problems commented favorably on the smell.

We departed from tradition and welcomed kids to the party, since have some of our own and thought they would have fun playing. Mark Goldman (Sally and Ken's oldest son) brought his saxophone, and we were treated to the jazz stylings of Goldman and Gill, as Mark joined Chris Gill (on piano) for an informal concert.

Dan Kimura discovered our marimba, an instrument he planed some time ago, and we learned the secret behind his Americanized nickname (Dan). You'll have to ask him if you want to know.

One faculty member who was supposed to come didn't make it. It was rumored he was briniging ritz crackers, and I did receive a one-line email from him earlier in the day, asking "Do you have ESPN?" I replied that we did, and that evidently kept him from attending.

I think everybody had a good time, and I hope we can do this again soon. Next time I'll have the chimney checked out prior to log ignition.

We had about 60 people in our house last night for the CS department faculty / staff party. The party was to start at 6 and the last people left around 10:30 or so. Because everybody brought food, we didn't have to cook that much, but we cleaned up the house and provided drinks. I had hoped our wild CS department would, well, go wild, making Ben's crew party look like a girl scout meeting. Actually, from what I heard, that party was a lot like a girl scout meeting because the crew team went in drag. I'll have to suggest that idea for next year's CS party.

Because I assume most people in this town get their fill of Budweiser, I bought a lot of esoteric beer: XX, Moosehead, Becks, Hefe Weiss, St Pauli Girl, etc. There is a surprising amount of beer left; wine was by far the more popular beverage: Merlot, Pinot Grigio, Red Zin were most preferred, judging by the number of empty bottles. Suggestions about how to dispose of the beer are most welcome.

Betsy and I made baked salami, cold-cut sandwiches, and a brie/cranberry puff pastry thing. All manner of appetizers and desserts were brought, and there was an abundance of food.

One of the evening's more exciting moments was putting out the fire in our study. Our house has two fireplaces: a big one in the den and a small one in the study. To me, a fireplace should be just that: a place for fires, so I dutifully armed both fireplaces with a 4-hour duraflame log, and then counted down the minutes to ignition.

While in prinicple, both fireplaces should work fine, we haven't used the one in the study for some time. I opened the flue, felt an adequate updraft, and so I lit the duraflame log. At first, things seemed just fine, but in about 15 minutes, the study was a little smokier than it should have been. Apparently, a nest or something was clogging the chimney at the top, and we all know the fun a flaming bird's nest propelled from a chimney can be at a party.

I went to the kitchen for the fire extinguisher, but, luckily, Berkley Shands attended our party, and he suggested the wet towel approach. I brought him a wet towel and he basically put the fire out with his bare hands and then carried the smouldering log outside.

All of this was happening while guests were arriving. The smoke gave our house a kind of rustic, al carbon atmosphere. Those without respiratory problems commented favorably on the smell.

We departed from tradition and welcomed kids to the party, since we have some of our own and thought they would have fun playing. Mark Goldman (Sally and Ken's oldest son) brought his saxophone, and we were treated to the jazz stylings of Goldman and Gill, as Mark joined Chris Gill (on piano) for an informal concert.

Dan Kimura discovered our marimba, an instrument he played some time ago, and we learned the secret behind his Americanized nickname (Dan). You'll have to ask him if you want to know.

One faculty member who was supposed to come didn't make it. It was rumored he was briniging ritz crackers, and I did receive a one-line email from him earlier in the day, asking "Do you have ESPN?" I replied that we did, and that evidently kept him from attending.

I think everybody had a good time, and I hope we can do this again soon. Next time I'll have the chimney checked out prior to log ignition.

Stay inside tonight, avoid mid-county at all costs, put your dog to bed early, because the CS department is having its annual faculty/staff party at my house tonight.

Yes, when CS profs let down their hair, you better beware. There is likely to be raucous drinking, lewd and unbecoming behavior, bar brawls -- and that's just downstairs where the children will be.

So if you are brave enough to venture out tonight, and find yourself in the vicinity of my house tonight, between 6 and 10 PM, and want to come sing Christmas Carols for food or drink, have at it.

I just hope our neighbors don't mind the noise.

Today, when faced with as many choices as one could wish, I chose the tsitsel bagel. This may not seem like a profound event, but it has deep meaning for me.

You see, tsitsel bagels are plain bagels dusted with corn meal, and as such, they are found mostly in the midwest. Even though there were poppy, sesame, and "everything" bagels within reach, I chose the tsitsel bagel.

I think this is a sign that I have gone beyond accepting life in the midwest, and have moved toward embracing it. There are many aspects of life in the midwest that are good, not the least of which is the opportunity to learn to play hockey as an adult. And the people here are good, no doubt about that, although crime here is higher than one would want, reports Chris .

But from all the things that seem bad here, the tsitsel bagel rises above them all, the bagel that beckons, the nosh that nurtures. I find myself dusted with fine corn meal and I am refreshed.

Chris recently posted about ice skating, so I thought I would put in a plug for this most worthy endeavor. Chris and I share more in common than merely our disdain for stealingest cities. We both grew up in the South, where if you mention ice, you're likely to get ice tea instead of a skating rink.

Why is ice skating fun? Because when you walk, run, or jump on a pogo stick, every step you take brings you to a full stop. But when you skate, every push adds to your cummulative velocity, so that you can go increasingly faster. In other sports, such as crew, you get to coast a bit, but the coefficient of friction just isn't as good as on ice. I haven't done much roller blading, but in my experience, stopping on roller blades is not all that easy. Stopping on ice is relatively easy once you get the hang of it.

Like most things, ice skating is probably best picked up when you're a kid, but there are good reasons to try this when you are older. First, sure, kids can start to skate at the age of 3 or 4 and by the time they are 7 or 8 they are skating really well. But that's 4-5 years of skating! While kids are relatively fearless and have a center of gravity closer to our Earth's core, they are not particularly analytical about what they are doing.

So my advice is to keep trying it until you just can't stop (ummm, but better learn to stop too I guess).

Soon after I joined our faculty, I was saddled with the job of preparing the department brochure. Of course, I did this in LaTeX, text-processing system of the gods, and when I submitted the first copy for approval by the University, the whole thing was rejected because I had used the wrong font.

Yes, Washington University has an Official Font, and it is Garamond, a font that is usually evident upon examination of the capital W, which should appear like two Vs that got a little too friendly at the font foundry.

OK, so I coaxed LaTeX into using Garamond, and the University was happy.

Then what is the deal with the sign at Small Group Housing (which over the Summer was Small but Heavily Armed Group Housing)? The W in Washington University is not the official Garamond W, but there it stands, carved literally in stone. I guess the University thought it would be too harsh to have them start that building all over again over such a small thing.

Because the elevators in Bryan and Jolley halls can exhibit stochastic behavior, I often take to the stairs, especially for the gravity-enhanced segments of travel. There are some signs posted now in the stairwell that are supposed to be highly informative in emergency situations, so that people in the stairwell can understand where they are and where they should be going.

These signs are relatively new, but they share an old problem. The messages are entirely in upper-case, with a sans serif font. It is nearly impossible to read the signs quickly. It also looks like they did a fair bit of squeezing (kerning) between the letters so the messages would fit. Then too, for some reason, these signs are posted between the floors so that it's not clear to which floor the sign applies. Careful reading (difficult, see above) will reveal the signs secrets, but I bet this could have been done better.

I attended the piano students' recital this week, which featured the piano stylings of our own Ben Brodie . Ben played two really cool duets (Ben who were they written by?); he needed some help with the duets, so another student played along with him. Ben let some other students play for a while, and then he played a solo piece, for one player with 5 hands.

The students played really well, especially Ben, but the concert left me wondering three things:

1. Why don't more students study music while at Wash U? There are some excellent instructors, and it's a great place to learn more about something you already play or to pick up a new instrument.
   
2. Why isn't the recital in Graham Chapel? It would be neat to hear the music in there, and I would think the players would prefer an acoustically active space.
   
3. Why don't they get the piano tuned where the students did play?
   

The Blast scored their first victory in the intermediate league tonight, defeating the Hornets 3 to 2. Probably won't make the StL Post-Dispatch so I thought I should report it here. It was a great game, and it felt good to win for a change. There was even talk of a team happy hour now. Let the good times roll. Yours truly didn't score, but assistant captain David Lintz credited me with my best game yet.

I looked at my stats page today and noticed that I was a hit for

http://search.yahoo.com/bin/search?p=eliminate christmas as a national hoilday

Well at the recent DARPA meeting, I spoke up when we were setting milestones to point out that students and staff disappear for a few weeks around the Winter holidays. One DARPA person replied that the holiday season is an excellent time to get work done, since there are no classes meeting and not so many distractions around.

I looked at my stats page today and noticed that I was a hit for

http://search.yahoo.com/bin/search?p=eliminate christmas as a national hoilday

Well at the recent DARPA meeting, I spoke up when we were setting milestones to point out that students and staff disappear for a few weeks around the Winter holidays. One DARPA person replied that the holiday season is an excellent time to get work done, since there are no classes meeting and not so many distractions around.

My gap in posts is due to my trip this week to a DARPA PI meeting. DARPA is the Defense Advanced Reserach Projects Agency (Research is their middle name), and we did not meet about an irrational number close to 22/7. PI stands for Principal Investigator, and since I'm one of those, I was one of about 40 in attendance. We get together about 3 times a year to talk about our progress and our plans. It's a great group of people, but a tough meeting in that there is little free time. We meet during the day in technical sessions, and then there are tutorials or demos at night.

I'll mention the following for those of you in need of ideas for holiday gifts. At a meeting last year, my student Frank Hunleth gave a demo on "Event Channels 'R Us" where you could specify what features you like in an Event Channel, Frank would push a button, and zing, out would come the Event Channel of your dreams.

The meeting was in Austin Texas and for those of you who haven't visited Austin, you really should. It's one of Texas's best towns. It's a huge campus town, but also the state capital, so there are lots of things to look at. But even better is 6th Street with its abundance of live music. It's about 3 long blocks of club after club, with each one featuring a live band of some form. And of course there are tattoo shops throughout in case you have the urge to become art.

I only got to see all of 6th Street last night, when I left the meeting after the demos section at about 8:30 PM. Too tired to do much else, I wandered up and down listening to some music and then headed back to my room to crash.

The meeting left me feeling very positive about my work and the work of my colleagues, but also with a lot to do. Know any good graduate students?